What did you expect when you got married?

Paul Tripp, May 4, 2012
What did you expect when you got married?

(My notes. Cheryl and I love Paul Tripp!)

Character of a marriage is formed in 10,000 little moments. Little moments are profoundly important. Where we live in our marriages is not in the great big moments but in the little moments that are constantly happening.

The Bible is not a topical guide with a section with a tab on marriage. This is by design. It is one whole story, and each episode tells something very important that relates to every dimension of my life.

Marriage of unity, understanding, and love is not rooted in romance but in worship. Romance is not a cause it is a result. Reversing this will lead to frustration. What does it mean to say that a good marriage is rooted in worship? Worship is first your identity before it is your activity. The only thing a human being ever does is worship. We are always attaching our meaning and purpose to something.

Luke 6:43-45 tree known by its fruit. Your words and behavior are more formed by what is inside of you than what is outside of you. Jesus uses the word heart. Body is our earth suit and the heart is the inner man, heart. Heart is the causal core of your personhood. A steering wheel. It is what rules and shapes behavior. Out of the heart the mouth speaks. We apologize for saying something, when we ought to say we are sorry for saying what we really meant. There's nothing that comes out of the mouth of a drunk that wasn't the in the first place. The alcohol didn't cause the sin. It was there already and the alcohol just made it easier for it to come to the surface.

Apple nailing metaphor but no root heart change. Threats, guilt, manipulation, all attempt to change the relationship without changing the heart. No ability to change each other, none. When we try we set the marriage on a course of trouble. None of us are the fourth member of the trinity.