Saturday, May 5, 2012

God Does Not Promise Perfect Marriage

Paul Tripp 3 (gotta love this guy)

Three principles of treasure: Matthew 6:19ff. We assign value to things they do not have intrinsic value in and of themselves. This side of eternity to keep as important in your heart what God says is important. Gave example of getting a decent car at last in his life. This was the car at made him feel good driving it, made him find more of his identity in his car, his identity boat. Paul loves how much of the glory of God in the world is edible. His nephew Troy got sick in the car after eating all day, really sick, in Paul's cool car, leather seat absorbent with ventilated holes in it... Paul used this as an example of how he pitched his identity in his car, a car that now smells perpetually like his nephew's  lunch. We can do this with simple things like a bagel, a bagel that we own, that is my breakfast.... Who ate MY bagel?

Your marriage will always be enhanced by or victimized by what we treasure. If we value what God says is valuable it will be enhanced. To the degree at we value what the world says is valuable it will be victimized. Some women turn their homes into a museum of their domestic dexterity, raising home image to treasure status, picky, picky, picky. Your goal is to make the house look like nobody lives in it. And this woman thinks that everyone else is the problem, and that everyone else is a slob.

Sit up men. We can make our marriage something outside of our treasure. Work or ministry even, can be the treasure, so home, wife, her conversation are outside of how you find your identity. You have little interest or time for her conversation. Nothing is more important than my wife and what she cares about, so I ought to think. He is nailing the listening deal here. We laugh, but it's not really funny, is it? 

If only I had... Whatever fills this in is the treasure. Tis is a moment of gracious opportunity. I appreciate how Paul tells us candidly how what he is saying he feels every time, it applies to him and his values, his treasures.

Earthbound treasures, all the situations, relationships, experiences, possessions of everyday life. Jesus says don't live for earthbound treasures because they don't last, they are impertinent, have no capacity to satisfy your heart, can't give you the peace, the hope, the life that you are seeking. They can't do what you are demanding for them to do, so they always disappoint. Created things can never become your personal Messiah. We desperately try to satisfy our appetite with things that cannot fill the void.

Making a treasure out of your wife doesn't even work here. Spouses will always disappoint. We demand something of our spouse that she cannot deliver. When we do this we immediately begin to try and recreate her in the image of what we think will make me happy. This always leads to tension and discord. All this leaves us fat, addicted, and in debt. We go back again, and again, and again. We keep trying to satisfy ourselves with earthbound treasures and it always fails.

Anxiety bound needs. Need is one of the sloppiest words we used. If need means essential for life. Kids at the mall uses the word need heaps. We replace want or desire with the word need all the time. When we name something as a need we think we are entitled to it, it's our right to demand it, and we will measure the love of our spouse by their willingness to fulfill the need.

Jesus says, don't you know that your heavenly father knows what you need (we don't really know what we need, God does). Paul had the ladies look at him and said, you don't need a husband who loves you. When you make this a need, we lock a ourselves in marital paralysis because we don't have what we need so we can't be what God calls us to be. At the cross of the Lord Jesus we already have everything we need, everything. Jesus plus nothing equals everything, do we really believe this? Spiritually we have the universes biggest bank account and we Ae on the street every day begging bread.

Men, you don't need a wife who respects you. Beautiful thing that it is, God has never promised this to us. When we see this as a need we excuse ourselves into not being who God has made us, called us, and equipped us to be. We have everything we need at the foot of the cross, nowhere else. Looking to spouse to fulfill my needs will destroy the marriage. Jesus is calling us to live outside of, above the earthbound kingdom. Seek Jesus's kingdom and his righteousness. Jesus tells us that God has given us his kingdom already. What does it mean to seek God's kingdom in my marriage. I just leave it at the cross... But what on earth does that mean.

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